I love you but see you for what you are
A fragment of my mind
A passage of time
That I have overcome
I love you but see you for what you are
A fragment of my mind
A passage of time
That I have overcome
Money? > Can’t take it to the grave.
Love? > Enjoy it, but we came to this world alone and leave alone.
Power? > Once you have it, you only want more.
Religion? > Invented by man to explain the unexplainable.
Fame? > The grass is always greener… and most people are weary of it once they have it.
Work? > Try something else.
How lost we all are? > Just accept it. Find your own reasons to keep going.
Judgement by others? > People are mostly concerned with themselves.
Pleasure? > Desire and feelings are fleeting.
People? > Check the ego. We are all one, part of something greater than any individual.
I like to remember the Pareto Principle, AKA the 80/20 rule, when assessing where to spend my time and energy. It is a popular idea in economics and business. Some general cases where it applies:
Applying this principle to other areas, perhaps by focusing efforts on the 20% in any part of our lives:
Disclaimer: No scientific basis for the above. I am extrapolating and exploring possibilities which may or may not be true.
Maybe by aiming for the best 20%, I can create more of my desired outcomes, conserve energy and succeed more in health, love, work and life.
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama
Take a “DIY” approach to your spirituality. Don’t settle for pre-packaged ideology, unless it feels right for you. For me, a constantly-developing hybrid model of Buddhism, psychology and philosophy seems to work. (Examples at bottom of this post.)
Spiritual activities grow the sense of interconnectedness between ourselves, other humans and animals, the universe, and a divinity/creator, if you believe in one. Some people derive this sense of oneness from listening to a pastor’s sermon and singing songs at church. For others, yoga, meditation, sex, being immersed in nature, drug use, or a captivating musical performance may bring the same feelings. Find what works for you.
I am cautious of “pre-packaged” spirituality. Some religions come to mind: “Do x, y and z things and receive a bountiful afterlife.” Religion can be spiritually rich, but I think skepticism is healthy when considering religious doctrine.
Develop your spirituality by learning about different ideas, religions, and philosophies. Keep a “DIY” spiritual mindset. By following our own spiritual curiosity, we find activities that help us feel more at ease, connected and alive.
I wrote the below to myself back in January as I was mentally preparing for a solo trip to Australia.
If my mind is right and my actions are focused, I will be ok. Walk the line between action and inaction. Know when to speak up and when to be quiet. Adapt. Interpret carefully and be easy. Smile. Listen as much as possible. Try to understand the people you are unfamiliar with. Don’t endanger yourself. Be cautious. Be slow. Don’t get too drunk. Try to relax. Get cozy in a strange land. Don’t expect too much of yourself. Don’t expect too much of others. Realize you’re human. Don’t expect too much of yourself. Have fun. Remember the universe is all one being, and all of our problems are each other’s problems. We should always try to help. We are all connected to each other. The self is an illusion, we’re all only as good as each other. Laugh a little bit but not too much. Be light on stories unless someone asks you. Try to find your true nature, whatever that is. Be yourself. Learn to surf and ride the fucking wave.
My first thought is… no. It has meaning in the feelings, emotions and connections we experience with other living things. I believe meaning is dependent on the perception of the other living things outside of ourselves. In other words, nothing exists without someone or something else to perceive it.
What are the things that happen if they are not perceived by a living thing? Like the old thought proverb:
“If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”
Part of me thinks existence alone justifies meaning. If something is perceived by something else at any given time, then it exists and it has meaning. So a tree that falls has meaning (or in this case, makes a sound) if someone or something else is there to hear it.
Let’s say a meteor hits Earth, wiping out all living creatures and all traces of life. Life and meaning do not hinge on continual perception. Even after they are gone, Earthly organisms existed with purpose. If a thing is perceived by one, at any time, that thing exists with purpose, in my opinion. This is a rosy view of meaning and life, but to me it beats the alternative: that we are random fluctuations in universal particles that accidentally achieved consciousness. I like the idea that even the mundane aspects of our world have meaning.
I try to remind myself to be happy there are other humans and animals around to see me and share this world. They give our lives meaning, if you believe so.
Edit – came across this quote from Albert Einstein after I wrote this, seemed relevant: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
I believe it is beneficial to desire anything too strongly. (Easier said than done.) Desire is a big part of human life and I am not against it. Desire is healthy. But it needs to be kept in check. Unchecked, strong desires often correlate with expectations: taking actions and expecting certain results. This can be troublesome when we take an un-characteristic action only to achieve an expected result.
I have found, in cases where I’m acting against my own nature in order to gain some expected result, two things happen: 1) It leads to the opposite of what I expected. 2) I’m more upset because I acted outside of my preferred self.
So how can we avoid acting in ways that conflict with the way we want to be? Temper desires and realize them for what they are. Instead of being a slave to your desires, cultivate a mindset that will reflect your values as you try to accomplish your goals. When you do this, the situations you face may become more likely to reflect your desires anyways (call it good karma.) This seems to work for me, although it can be tough. Desire be desire go!
Additional Reading: Wu Wei AKA Trying Not to Try
A short story by Erick, inspired by true events 🙂
They didn’t tell her it would be like this. All the years of it took to get here. And now… there she sat, waiting.
It was as if every step of her life made sense right up until that point. But then, nothing happened. Boredom. Doubt. The moment she’d waited for all her life. Where did she go wrong? Maybe she should have stayed with her mother. But she didn’t really have a choice when the creatures removed her.
She just did the best she could. There were times where she thought her life was over. She somehow survived excruciatingly painful flames in that dark, dingy place. Then they kept her for weeks in a tight container with no light or fresh air. She somehow still kept it together when the blades ground her up into a million tiny pieces and even found some pleasure in it. It almost felt like she was becoming who she was supposed to be. And then when she thought it couldn’t get any worse, they forced her into a steaming hot water bath that scolded her inside and out.
After all these tests, she emerged, a beautiful cup of coffee, much in the sense that a precious jewel is forged from years of pressure between rough elements. She felt invincible. And then slowly she began to realize no one was coming. As she cooled off, questions began to enter her mind: “Why am I here? Is it just for the creatures? If so why, have they liquified me? What purpose does it serve if they’re just going to leave me here?” And there she sat, pondering what she had done wrong. No one came. She soon became cold and lonely. She lost track of time. How long had she been here?
She gave up hope. When all seemed lost, the creature picked her up. She had heard a myth that the creatures liked to torture and drink her kind. “Who are you?”, “Why are you doing this to me?!”, she shouted. But the creature couldn’t hear her. Soon she was heading down a small tube. Where she felt herself come into contact with something else. Another liquid substance. Slowly she felt herself drifting apart. She now knew what her purpose was. To do exactly what she had done. And follow the path right to this very moment, where she was no longer coffee, but disintegrating into part of a larger whole. Her molecules spread amongst the molecules of others and she ceased to exist at that moment, her last gasp filled with contentedness.
“The simplest answer is usually the correct one.”
A favorite rule of thumb of mine is Occam’s Razor, which was developed by William of Ockham in the 13th century. To summarize, it means when trying to understand why something occurs, don’t make the answer more complex than necessary. The simplest or most obvious solution is more often the best choice.
This principle is not bulletproof and does not apply to everything. But I think it serves as a reminder not to complicate things for ourselves beyond necessity. You can read examples of Occam’s Razor applied to real life situations here. A favorite story of mine, the Russian/American space pen myth also demonstrates applying it to problem-solving, although it is not true:
When NASA started sending astronauts into space, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
Seeing and understanding the world clearly leads to better decisions and better living. Remembering Occam’s Razor can help us cut away complexity whenever life confuses us.
Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life and a secret life. – Gabriel García Márquez
The internet is what we project onto it. We humans have biases and goals to represent ourselves and our causes or beliefs in the best way possible. We also like to make our wins public, while usually keeping our losses private. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but recognize it’s there and don’t let it get you down. And maybe try projecting more positive things into our collective knowledge ecosystem. 🙂