I believe it is beneficial to desire anything too strongly. (Easier said than done.) Desire is a big part of human life and I am not against it. Desire is healthy. But it needs to be kept in check. Unchecked, strong desires often correlate with expectations: taking actions and expecting certain results. This can be troublesome when we take an un-characteristic action only to achieve an expected result.

I have found, in cases where I’m acting against my own nature in order to gain some expected result, two things happen: 1) It leads to the opposite of what I expected. 2) I’m more upset because I acted outside of my preferred self.

So how can we avoid acting in ways that conflict with the way we want to be? Temper desires and realize them for what they are. Instead of being a slave to your desires, cultivate a mindset that will reflect your values as you try to accomplish your goals. When you do this, the situations you face may become more likely to reflect your desires anyways (call it good karma.) This seems to work for me, although it can be tough. Desire be desire go!

Additional Reading: Wu Wei AKA Trying Not to Try


I spend a lot of time pondering expectations. Why? Because I think a lot of our unhappiness due the inevitability of reality not meeting up with our expectations. It’s important to realize that sometimes, things aren’t going to go how we want. When we release from our expectations and just take things as they come, we’re happier.

I do think that a positive mindset helps to achieve the best outcomes. However, when we expect too much of ourselves and others, it makes us discontent, whether subconsciously or consciously (when we’re visibly unhappy). So what’s the key? Manage your expectations carefully and let yourself be happy regardless of the outcome.